Semalam saya bermain Runescape. Saya taktaw la pulak what happened to my previous account, which I've been using for the past hmm.. 3 years, so I made a new account. So I'm back to being a newbie lah kiranya.
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Anyhoo I was killing goblins behind the Farmer Fred's kebun, when a dude passed by the area and killed a goblin with a single strike of his sword. I had to hit the goblins with a few blows baru they die, see? Then he was like
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Orang jahat: Loser.
Me: *terpegun seketika*
Orang jahat: Loser. You can see I'm beather then you.
Me: Well, yes, at least I'm a better speller.
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Tidak pula dia berkata-kata lagi selepas itu.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Loser
Buang tabiat
Hari ini hari saya bermula awal sekali, pukul 6 suku dah diketuk ketuk pintu. I bolted for the door, terkejut, ingatkan apa and terlanggar the foot of the bed. Shite, another bruise lah itu. Adik lelaki rupanya. Cheh. Bergoyang goyang pintu dibuatnya. Bawa jogging. Mak, aku tak rela... Tapi semalas-malasnya aku, malas lagi adik pompuan ku itu. Malas bangun. Tapi terpaksa, tu lah, beriya-iya sangat janji semalam nak pergi. So we went. Jogging sambil menyedut udara pagi yang best. Adik lelaki semangat sungguh, bermeter-meter di hadapan. Tapi kami berdua yang di belakang at least ada dihonkan oleh kereta yang lalu lalang, kerana lawa ka huduh ka, entah, but I like to think it's the former.
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Oh ya, adik perempuan saya dah balik cuti raya untuk dua minggu (padahalnya kami bukannya beraya pon LOL). Best juga dia ada. Dia rajin lipat baju, tapi tak suka vacuum. Saya amatlah rajin vacuum, tapi tak suka langsung lipat baju, so between the two of us, we do chores around the house well enough. Aku suka dia. Semalam untuk dinner dia cuma panaskan the chicken and the fishies in bamboo dan mengukus sayur sawi. Dia kata dengan mom and dad tak boleh makan yang lawa-lawa, control makan untuk jaga kesihatan, sebab itu masak tu je. Padahalnya saya suspek dia tu malas sikit nak sediakan benda lain LOL. Tapi, seperti aku kata tadi, aku suka dia, sebab dia cakap macam tu, semua orang di rumah akan dengar cakap dia, sebab dia med student. Apa Erica cakap, semua akan ikut. Sebab siapa berani lawan doktor hehe.
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Bestnya, waktu ini, semua orang ada di rumah.
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Adik lelaki pun cuti. Sebab kami bertigamalas tiada masa, kami memang tidak memasak tengahari dua hari lepas ini. Semalam kami terpikat dengan juadah KFC, hari ini pula aku dan Rica ke kopitiam untuk membungkus nasi ayam salad. Tapi sememangnya kami tiada masa untuk masak, memandangkan hari-hari saya terpaksa ke driving academy di waktu tengahari, menghantar dan menunggu sementara Rica belajar memandu kereta enjin asyik mati ish. Mula-mula Man, sekarang budak ni plak. Sampai instructor mana naik kereta mana pun saya tahu.
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Gusi saya sakit kerana saya teething. Itu sebab saya makan cendol untuk dinna kelmarin (mom and dad makan sayur kukus kesian) Kebetulan malam semalam saya pun berjumpa dengan seorang bayi yang juga sedang teething. Tapi saya tak lah gigit gigit orang macam dia. Kononnya wisdom teeth. Tapi rasa-rasanya I won't be any wiser. Just.. toothier.
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Anyway, selamat hari raya to all yang menyambut. Mudah-mudahan, mom or dad bawa kitaorang pergi visiting esok. Kalau tak pon, takpe lah. That just means aku terpaksa cari perencah masak hitam Liza dan masak sendiri (biarpun biasanya best lagi makan di rumah orang). Aku juga gumbira kerana kami mungkin akan ke Niah dan Miri hujung minggu ini. Dah lama tak ke Miri, rindu pulak dengan Luak Bay and dim sum kat 2020. I also miss the McD Bintang Plaza for lunch ritual. Hohoho :)
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Oh ya, adik perempuan saya dah balik cuti raya untuk dua minggu (padahalnya kami bukannya beraya pon LOL). Best juga dia ada. Dia rajin lipat baju, tapi tak suka vacuum. Saya amatlah rajin vacuum, tapi tak suka langsung lipat baju, so between the two of us, we do chores around the house well enough. Aku suka dia. Semalam untuk dinner dia cuma panaskan the chicken and the fishies in bamboo dan mengukus sayur sawi. Dia kata dengan mom and dad tak boleh makan yang lawa-lawa, control makan untuk jaga kesihatan, sebab itu masak tu je. Padahalnya saya suspek dia tu malas sikit nak sediakan benda lain LOL. Tapi, seperti aku kata tadi, aku suka dia, sebab dia cakap macam tu, semua orang di rumah akan dengar cakap dia, sebab dia med student. Apa Erica cakap, semua akan ikut. Sebab siapa berani lawan doktor hehe.
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Bestnya, waktu ini, semua orang ada di rumah.
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Adik lelaki pun cuti. Sebab kami bertiga
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Gusi saya sakit kerana saya teething. Itu sebab saya makan cendol untuk dinna kelmarin (mom and dad makan sayur kukus kesian) Kebetulan malam semalam saya pun berjumpa dengan seorang bayi yang juga sedang teething. Tapi saya tak lah gigit gigit orang macam dia. Kononnya wisdom teeth. Tapi rasa-rasanya I won't be any wiser. Just.. toothier.
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Anyway, selamat hari raya to all yang menyambut. Mudah-mudahan, mom or dad bawa kitaorang pergi visiting esok. Kalau tak pon, takpe lah. That just means aku terpaksa cari perencah masak hitam Liza dan masak sendiri (biarpun biasanya best lagi makan di rumah orang). Aku juga gumbira kerana kami mungkin akan ke Niah dan Miri hujung minggu ini. Dah lama tak ke Miri, rindu pulak dengan Luak Bay and dim sum kat 2020. I also miss the McD Bintang Plaza for lunch ritual. Hohoho :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Finding God in the pots and pans
So. Sorry I have been away and have not been replying to comments. Something was inexplicably wrong with my Streamyx, so I've been internet-less, but now, all's good.
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It's been 3 weeks since the help quitted the job, and I took over. I'm so not meant for household management for an extended period of time, contrary to what I initially thought. So as selfish as this may sound, I cannot get wait to get away and be responsible for no one but myself again. Mom and dad don't shoot me. Sure, it's not like I'm doing backbreaking work. While the rest of my yet to be posted batchmates are having fun shopping, clubbing, gym-ing, going out on dates, I've been pressing clothes (I don't like this), doing laundry (I don't like folding clothes), vacuuming and mopping floors (Su May knows how much I hate mopping), cooking lunch, cooking dinner, picking bro up from school, sending him and waiting for him there at the driving school, car engine off under the hot afternoon sun, water the plants, running off to the supermarket for emergency rations, but oh my word, it's so getting old. Sure it's not that hard, but it is rather tiring; and I'll already be asleep by 9 or 10pm.
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It's been 3 weeks since the help quitted the job, and I took over. I'm so not meant for household management for an extended period of time, contrary to what I initially thought. So as selfish as this may sound, I cannot get wait to get away and be responsible for no one but myself again. Mom and dad don't shoot me. Sure, it's not like I'm doing backbreaking work. While the rest of my yet to be posted batchmates are having fun shopping, clubbing, gym-ing, going out on dates, I've been pressing clothes (I don't like this), doing laundry (I don't like folding clothes), vacuuming and mopping floors (Su May knows how much I hate mopping), cooking lunch, cooking dinner, picking bro up from school, sending him and waiting for him there at the driving school, car engine off under the hot afternoon sun, water the plants, running off to the supermarket for emergency rations, but oh my word, it's so getting old. Sure it's not that hard, but it is rather tiring; and I'll already be asleep by 9 or 10pm.
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It's no wonder I've been extremely pissy. Help me, I'm SO frustrated.
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Sigh.
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I don't have a life. But I do. It's just that it's hard to be grateful for the very fact that I am still alive, still breathing, sheltered, fed and loved when the days that passed by were so dull. I remember what Gareth told me once, and that is to follow what St Teresa, to do little things well. So mid-working, whenever I think of that conversation, I'd feel a little better, straightened my back up a bit, and continue working, showing a bit more enthusiasm. Though that's not to say it helps reduces my longing to do fun young people stuff; getting facials, shopping, going to see films, going for drinks.
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I don't know for how much longer I would have to wait for my posting letter. I've got a feeling I'll be reporting by mid-October or November. It's funny how these things are done so slow considering how we're still acutely lacking in manpower. But until then, I cannot continue being unhappy and uncontented with this inertness. I need to stop being miserable and start finding if not joy, at least a sense of accomplishment and contentment after finishing the day's work. I need to find God in the pots and pans.
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Sigh.
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I don't have a life. But I do. It's just that it's hard to be grateful for the very fact that I am still alive, still breathing, sheltered, fed and loved when the days that passed by were so dull. I remember what Gareth told me once, and that is to follow what St Teresa, to do little things well. So mid-working, whenever I think of that conversation, I'd feel a little better, straightened my back up a bit, and continue working, showing a bit more enthusiasm. Though that's not to say it helps reduces my longing to do fun young people stuff; getting facials, shopping, going to see films, going for drinks.
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I don't know for how much longer I would have to wait for my posting letter. I've got a feeling I'll be reporting by mid-October or November. It's funny how these things are done so slow considering how we're still acutely lacking in manpower. But until then, I cannot continue being unhappy and uncontented with this inertness. I need to stop being miserable and start finding if not joy, at least a sense of accomplishment and contentment after finishing the day's work. I need to find God in the pots and pans.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Consequences
Today is a bad day, but praise the Lord anyway.
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I was in the Klinik Kesihatan today to get my medical check-up done before I start working. Was looking for a parking spot and turned at a tight corner with a car also coming from the opposite direction. She didn't move, and I know there were cars behind me. Someone has got to move. Had I the hindsight, had my good judgement and common sense were there for me to rely on, I would have known it was a bad move. I felt trapped there. It was a split second decision. I inched forward.. and I scratched her car, and mine. Door flew open. Uh oh. A NURSE! She screamed at me. She was angry and rightly so, I was the one who made the move that cost us both. I was dumbfounded, it felt surreal, and I thought this could not be happening to me. But it did.
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Sigh.
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She parked her car and went to find me. I was already parked underneath a tree, hands shaking, head spinning. I saw her coming and I prayed to God for strength. I stepped out of the car. She was composed by then, the damage was minimal she said. Thank God. I was profusely saying sorry. I looked at her closer, and thought she could have been my mom. She was nice the second time around, and said she's sorry for raising her voice. I was like hmm.. yeah, must have belatedly remembered it's Ramadan. But I thank God then, at least she's no longer furious. We exchanged numbers, and I went inside, bracing the crowd.
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It was only 8.15am, and there were so many people there. Mostly Iban. Like me. I took a number. 187. Only 70 plus people ahead of me. I can hardly move, it was so packed. I finally found a seat at a far corner. Waited for more than an hour to register. I was uncomfortable. The nurse from the car incident might be anywhere in the building and I certainly do not want to bump into her or anything. It was finally my turn at the registry. I handed them the form and I had to wait for another half an hour or more to be attended to. A nurse finally opened the door and called my name. Vital statistics test, and eye test. She gave a wee pee bottle (LOL), to be handed to the lab, and other forms to be given to different departments. I went to the toilet, it was at the far end. It must be there, the sharp urine smell I could smell first, before I could see the toilet sign itself. I peered into a cubicle and I was transported back into high school. I hiked my pants up and folded them. I went inside, closed the door. There was turd behind the door, and behind closed doors, the urine stink to high heavens. There were no sinks, no toilet papers. I fought back a wave of nausea. I needed to do this.
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Relieved that it was over, I made my way to the lab, carrying the bottle as inconspicuously as I could. Waited another 40 minutes before they finally took the bottle from me. Headed for the X-Ray department next. Just sat down and was immediately called in. Uncharacteristically fast. Smelly old robes. That done, dentist next. Not in, come back tomorrow. And in another 2 weeks to get the lab tests result back. After 2.5hours, I was finally done. I drove back home in fear, at 60km/h.
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Phone calls from parents, who paid for my expensive mistake. Terse conversations punctuated by dismissive, irritated goodbyes, but understandably so. It was a few seconds mistake, few seconds of lapse judgement, but as a result I've been feeling bad about it the whole morning. Waiting there on the wobbly wooden bench all I could think of was how sorry I was. The long, hot and sweaty wait, I deserved it. The awful toilet bit, I so deserved it. I feel so small.
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And I have enough I told you so's, if you please.
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I was in the Klinik Kesihatan today to get my medical check-up done before I start working. Was looking for a parking spot and turned at a tight corner with a car also coming from the opposite direction. She didn't move, and I know there were cars behind me. Someone has got to move. Had I the hindsight, had my good judgement and common sense were there for me to rely on, I would have known it was a bad move. I felt trapped there. It was a split second decision. I inched forward.. and I scratched her car, and mine. Door flew open. Uh oh. A NURSE! She screamed at me. She was angry and rightly so, I was the one who made the move that cost us both. I was dumbfounded, it felt surreal, and I thought this could not be happening to me. But it did.
.
.
Sigh.
.
.
She parked her car and went to find me. I was already parked underneath a tree, hands shaking, head spinning. I saw her coming and I prayed to God for strength. I stepped out of the car. She was composed by then, the damage was minimal she said. Thank God. I was profusely saying sorry. I looked at her closer, and thought she could have been my mom. She was nice the second time around, and said she's sorry for raising her voice. I was like hmm.. yeah, must have belatedly remembered it's Ramadan. But I thank God then, at least she's no longer furious. We exchanged numbers, and I went inside, bracing the crowd.
.
.
It was only 8.15am, and there were so many people there. Mostly Iban. Like me. I took a number. 187. Only 70 plus people ahead of me. I can hardly move, it was so packed. I finally found a seat at a far corner. Waited for more than an hour to register. I was uncomfortable. The nurse from the car incident might be anywhere in the building and I certainly do not want to bump into her or anything. It was finally my turn at the registry. I handed them the form and I had to wait for another half an hour or more to be attended to. A nurse finally opened the door and called my name. Vital statistics test, and eye test. She gave a wee pee bottle (LOL), to be handed to the lab, and other forms to be given to different departments. I went to the toilet, it was at the far end. It must be there, the sharp urine smell I could smell first, before I could see the toilet sign itself. I peered into a cubicle and I was transported back into high school. I hiked my pants up and folded them. I went inside, closed the door. There was turd behind the door, and behind closed doors, the urine stink to high heavens. There were no sinks, no toilet papers. I fought back a wave of nausea. I needed to do this.
.
.
Relieved that it was over, I made my way to the lab, carrying the bottle as inconspicuously as I could. Waited another 40 minutes before they finally took the bottle from me. Headed for the X-Ray department next. Just sat down and was immediately called in. Uncharacteristically fast. Smelly old robes. That done, dentist next. Not in, come back tomorrow. And in another 2 weeks to get the lab tests result back. After 2.5hours, I was finally done. I drove back home in fear, at 60km/h.
.
.
Phone calls from parents, who paid for my expensive mistake. Terse conversations punctuated by dismissive, irritated goodbyes, but understandably so. It was a few seconds mistake, few seconds of lapse judgement, but as a result I've been feeling bad about it the whole morning. Waiting there on the wobbly wooden bench all I could think of was how sorry I was. The long, hot and sweaty wait, I deserved it. The awful toilet bit, I so deserved it. I feel so small.
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And I have enough I told you so's, if you please.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Holiday (-ing in) Inn
I took the morning flight to Kuching, and arrived about 9.40a.m. Today is a good day, as I managed to check into the hotel by 10.30, no hassle of waiting until 2pm for a room kind of thang. So I thank you God, for making this easier for me. I've been cooped up in my room ever since, well prepared, mind, with my trusty ol NEC laptop, since the HP motherboard is totally screwed and would not get well again for less than RM2340, which in my opinion is crap, since I paid.. ahem, Dad paid so much to get it in the first place. But enough ranting.
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I'm cooped up because I spent the rest of the morning trying to mentally prepare myself for tomorrow. I am my own barrier. I don't think it's going to be that bad, at least not as bad as getting into the lab each morning and answer a barrage of questions from Trevor a.k.a. the (x) research supervisor, pharmacology things, neuroscience things that I should have at the tip of my hands. If I could handle Trevor, with his tall big frame and keen eyes looking down intently at yeh, waiting for an eternity, never letting you escape a question without an answer (we didn't call him Big T for nothing), I think I could handle my SPA interviewers tomorrow. Cause no one could possibly be more intimidating than Trevor, unless it's Yao Ming the basketballer, cause he's tall. LOL.
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So, screw studying. I'll just pray to God for eloquence and an abundant grace of expression. Ben's coming to pick me up later at 4-ish, Paul's not around boo hoo, while Van.. Van is with Kevin in the west. I have internet access and a Vietnamese movie to watch and I have That 70s Show, so I'll just hang out and take this is as a mini holiday of some kind.
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Off with my movie, and my ayam kentaki.
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I'm cooped up because I spent the rest of the morning trying to mentally prepare myself for tomorrow. I am my own barrier. I don't think it's going to be that bad, at least not as bad as getting into the lab each morning and answer a barrage of questions from Trevor a.k.a. the (x) research supervisor, pharmacology things, neuroscience things that I should have at the tip of my hands. If I could handle Trevor, with his tall big frame and keen eyes looking down intently at yeh, waiting for an eternity, never letting you escape a question without an answer (we didn't call him Big T for nothing), I think I could handle my SPA interviewers tomorrow. Cause no one could possibly be more intimidating than Trevor, unless it's Yao Ming the basketballer, cause he's tall. LOL.
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So, screw studying. I'll just pray to God for eloquence and an abundant grace of expression. Ben's coming to pick me up later at 4-ish, Paul's not around boo hoo, while Van.. Van is with Kevin in the west. I have internet access and a Vietnamese movie to watch and I have That 70s Show, so I'll just hang out and take this is as a mini holiday of some kind.
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Off with my movie, and my ayam kentaki.
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